


Empty Space

by TatianaMalfoy



Series: Music is my drug of choice [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Depression, F/M, M/M, Sad, Song Lyrics, Tissue Warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-16 19:24:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16501271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TatianaMalfoy/pseuds/TatianaMalfoy
Summary: The lyrics are reflected in Draco's stages of pain. Their relationship is done. Find out how Draco is coping.Harry and Draco's relationship based on the new song called Empty Space by James Arthur, video which stars Tom Felton.I chose not to apply some specific tags that would give away the story.  I would recommend listening to the song while you read.





	Empty Space

**Author's Note:**

> Neither the lyrics nor the characters belong to me. So enjoy!

*I don't see you  
You're not in every window I look through...*

Draco walked down Diagon Alley with no real destination in mind. He felt the cold wind on his face and in the hair that was getting too long for Ha-for him to love; he felt shoulders brushing against his as people rushed to and from and he ignored the looks that he received as being a former Death eater walking around a crowded street with a haunted look on his face.  
He walked past the apothecary, shaking his head and snorting softly to himself, remembering the whines and pouts that he got whenever he wandered towards that shop. Every one of their friends knew that even though Ha-he left Hogwarts behind, he had taken with him his hatred for everything related to potions.  
He waved to George Weasley as Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes came into view, but made no move to stop or even walk closer to the ginger and his eye sore of a shop. “It’s got character, Ray!” a voice inside his head scolded him and he winced as his shoulders sagged further. As he moved on, he missed the concerned look he received from George Weasley, who was all too familiar with death…  
Speaking of familiars, a tiny smile appeared in the corner of Draco Malfoy’s mouth as he spotted the owls ready to be bought and start delivering mail for their masters and the tiny owlets that parents usually bought for their children. He spots a tiny white owlet hiding or maybe trying to blend in with her environment and he remembered what they had promised to his cousin. “Be good for your Aunt ‘Dromeda and maybe we will get you one for your birthday, Moonlet!” “Wicked! Grandma will…” But Draco never got the chance to hear what would Grandma would do because the tiny horror had spotted him and lost his train of thought, just like he was told his mother used to do. “Wotcher, Draco! Did ya hear what Prongslet said?” Shaking his head to get rid of his dangerous thoughts and before he could change his mind, he strode into the shop and bought the tiny owl for his cousin…His aunt Andromeda would kill him and he would have no one to hide behind as the child would be too preoccupied with the feathered beast. If the owl was the spitting image of an owl they used to see years before and if they wondered how the owlet came into the name of Hedwig, well…no one was stupid enough to comment on that and Draco had nothing to do with the name his cousin chose after he heard some perfectly timed comments. Never say that Draco Malfoy isn't a Slytherin.

*And I don't miss you  
You're not in every single thing I do...*

“Master Draco, you leaves kitchen now!”  
He was brought out of his thoughts by the squeaky voice and the tiny tug he felt on his night shirt. “You makes mess in Master’s H- ”  
“Winky!” he snaps before he can stop. “How many times do I have to tell you we don’t talk about that in this house!”  
He felt bad for snapping at the creature and the familiar voice saying “You should be!” in his head certainly didn’t help either, but then he saw Winky’s jaw tighten and her posture stiffen and then instantly melt away as she looked behind him and saw what exactly his “mess” was and he knew his morning was truly about to become dragon dung.  
Tears appeared in her huge eyes and she started pulling on one of her ears. “Winky will do pancakes for Master Draco.”  
He chose to ignore her behavior and turned to walk out of the kitchen, knowing that Winky would call him when they were done. What he couldn’t ignore were her mumbled words as she set to do the pancakes. “Master Harry always said Master Draco beat the dough like he beat Master’s Weasel’s face…”

*I don't think we're meant to be  
And you are not the missing piece  
I won't hear it  
Whenever anybody says your name  
And I won't feel it  
Even when I'm burstin' into flames...*

He can feel his body burning and the bead of sweat on the bridge of his nose; he can feel that the sheets are drenched and stuck to his body and he can feel his head is about to explode from the pain. He turns his head to the other side of the bed. A side that had not been touched in almost a year. The person that used to lie there was gone. He knew he was very sick. His head was about to burst; his throat felt as if he had eaten sandpaper and every time he took a breath, his lungs felt like they were on fire…And yet, he makes no move to call for someone. He didn’t need anyone. He could take care of himself just fine, thank you very much.  
It’s hours later when he hears voices around him like a bubble and he realizes that he had fallen asleep somehow. But he’s so tired and the fire in his lungs is still there so he doesn’t even try to open his eyes or his mouth. As he falls back into unconsciousness he can only hear bits and pieces of the conversation going around him, but even those bits and pieces are enough to turn the fire into his lungs into smoldering lava. “Harry…stubborn bastard sick…”  
When he would eventually recover from his bout of wizard flu, he would choose to let Granger and Pansy believe that he had not heard them as he was walking into the bathroom in their-his, his bedroom.  
“I love Draco, but he was a saint for putting up with a sick Draco!” 

*I don't regret the day I left  
I don't believe that I was blessed  
I'm probably lyin' to myself again!*

He woke up when he heard a curling scream inside the Manor. It was the fact that his breathing was labored and the fact that he was tangled up in his sheets that made him realize that the scream had come from him. He lay in there for a few moments, looking at the ceiling and listening to the silence that once again settled over the Manor before he sighed painfully and got up. He knew sleep would no longer visit him that night.  
As he poured himself a glass of firewhiskey, images moved on their own accord in front of his eyes, no matter how hard he tried to stop it.  
“If you walk out that door, Draco, I’m done. I’m not going to keep fighting for something that obviously has no future as far as you’re concerned!”  
Draco saw himself whirl around and throw into a wall a glass similar to the one he currently had in his hand. “And what do you expect me to do? It’s my duty!”  
“Your duty?!? Well, fuck you and your fucking duty and the fucking horse you’re riding on, Malfoy! Get out and don’t you ever fucking come back!”  
Draco once again looked at the arrogant sneer his memory self had on his face as he walked towards the door of the house and walked out the door, slamming it behind him, but not before throwing a smirking “Gladly!” over his shoulder.  
Draco drank the entire content of his glass and sighed. “Oh, Draco, liar, liar pants on fire,” he whispered to himself in the dark.  
The following morning, as her Master finally settled in bed in one of the guest rooms, for a few hours of fitful sleep, Winky knelt and gathered the shards of glass, the same as she had done almost a year before.

*I'm alone in my head  
Looking for love in a stranger's bed  
But I don't think I'll find it  
'Cause only you could fill this empty space...*

“Fuck, Draco!” the woman moaned under him. “Harder!”  
“Shh!” he hissed as he held tighter onto her hips and pounded harder into her willing body. “Shut up,” he growled, “before you ruin it!”  
After they were done, he got up and was dressed and ready to leave before the nameless, faceless woman could even turn around in bed. He ignored her shout of “Wait!” as he walked out of the room and dissaparated into the night. He pulled his cloak tighter around him as he walked the path towards the door of the Manor, but stopped in his tracks when the door opened and his mother stood there, waiting for him to reach her, with a pained look on her face and her body trembling from the winter cold.  
“Oh, my love!” she whispered as he finally got to the door and she made a move to take him into her arms.  
He had anticipated this and quickly sidestepped her and walked past her into the house and took off running up the stairs and towards their-his bedroom.  
Before he could turn the corner and enter their-his wing of the Manor, he heard his mother talking to his father. “Well, at least it wasn’t a man this time…it would have taken him longer to get over the guilt if that were the case.”

*I wanna tell all my friends  
But I don't think they would understand...*

Draco smiled politely as another face he couldn’t recognize came to tell him congratulations. Why were they congratulating him? He was just the best man; this was all for Blaise and Theo.  
He finished the champagne in one gulp as he looked around. Blaise and Theo, freshly married, were talking to McGonagall and Flitwick; Granger soon to be Weasley was dancing with her one eared fiancé; Longbottom looked ready to puke as Pansy kept pushing her chest in his direction; Crabbe and Goyle were devouring the buffet between the two of them. His criticisms are interrupted as the newlyweds sit on each side of Draco.  
“There you are, Draco! Could you even pretend to be a little happy for us?”  
He tells them both “Sorry”, because he is, but he can’t bring himself to smile. They would know it was fake anyway. How could he explain to his best friends that he would give anything, literally anything to have the opportunity to be in their shoes. They wouldn’t understand and they would only end up arguing again. Theo had went against his father’s wishes and got married to Blaise even though it got him disowned. His reasoning? Why would he need the name Nott when Blaise had a perfectly society accepted surname?  
He could see his point, but then again, his father also had the power and the intelligence to do more than that…He could have easily taken revenge on both of them.  
“A fat load of good did that do, huh?” the familiar voice snapped and Draco lowered his head and took the scolding. 

*I couldn't make you love me...*

“Draco? Draco, where are you?”  
Draco frowned as he heard his aunt Andromeda’s voice floating through the Manor.  
He quickly puts a stasis charm on the potion he was working on and ran into the direction the voice was coming from, his heart in his throat, terrified that something had happened to Moonlet.  
“Yeah, where’s the fire?!?” he shouts before he can even enter the room. He stops short when he finds his aunt sitting calmly on the sofa, with Moonlet playing at her feet with two stuffed stags, a wolf and a dog and a decently sized nicely wrapped box next to her.  
His aunt throws him a sheepish smile. “I apologize, Draco. I didn’t mean to scare you. Nothing’s wrong, it’s just that we have something for you.”  
Now he’s even more confused. His birthday was two months prior and aunt Dromeda and Moonlet had already given him their gift. Seeing the questions and confusion on his face, Andromeda put the cup down and took a deep breath. “It’s…well, you see Draco…the gift is not from us. I mean, Theodore found it, but it’s no from us.”  
Draco could see the nerves on the woman’s face. “Who’s it from then?”  
Before Andromeda even had a chance to open her mouth, Theodore answered, a mile wide smile on his face. “It’s from Prongslet, Ray! It’s from Harry!” Andromeda winced as she saw the reaction that Draco had.  
“WHAT?!?” he shouts. In reality, it was a whisper that Andromeda barely heard.  
“I’m guessing Harry bought the gift before…well, before you two broke up. Theodore found it today under the bed in Harry’s room when he was looking for his stuffies. We knew it was for you, because the letter has your name on it.”  
Now that she mentioned it, a paralyzed Draco noticed the white envelope that read “Draco” in that familiar chicken scrawl that made his heart stop.  
“I thought you would like to have it, I’m pretty sure Harry would have given it to you even if you were broken up if only he had gotten the chance…”  
The only noises in the room for the next five minutes are Andromeda sipping her tea, Theodore talking to Moony, Padfoot, Prongs and Prongslet and Draco’s harsh breathing. When her tea is gone and Draco had made no move towards the box, Andromeda kissed Draco’s forehead, gathered Theodore and his beloved stuffies and left Draco and the box on the couch, before returning to their home at Grimmauld Place.  
It was hours later and a bottle of firewhiskey that gave Draco the courage to open the box. Inside the box was another tiny box that literally made Draco stop breathing. With trembling hands and tears on his cheeks he pulled out the box and opened it to reveal an onix ring with the brightest emerald stone he had ever seen. A curling scream filled the Manor and sobs ripped out of him as he kept wiping away the tears that were stopping him from seeing the beautiful ring.  
He never saw his mother cling to his father, crying for her son and his lost lover or repeatedly slam her fists into his chest saying how it was all his fault that they had lost both boys. Nor did he get the chance to see his father wipe the tear from his face while looking at his son’s and wife’s pain, knowing it was all his fault.  
An eternity later Draco manages to put the ring on his finger and with trembling hands he opens the letter.

My beloved Dragon,  
I love you. I adore you. I breathe you. If you think this is too cheesy, I’m blaming George. Hermione turned him into a sap. Thing is, you did the same with me. And I would like to think that I did the same with you. We see parts of each other than no one has or ever will and yet we love each other madly. I’m willing to put up with Lucius’ peacocks for the rest of my life if you’re willing to put up with Mrs. Weasley Christmas jumpers without complaining that they irritate your skin.  
No sacrifice will ever be too big if it means I get to keep you in my life for the rest of our lives…

Marry me?

 

It’s at this point when both Lucius and Narcissa rush to their son’s side for fear he would simply stop breathing due to his tears and hyperventilating. “Breathe, Dragon!” Narcissa mutters as she tries to gather him in her arms. This only makes Draco cry harder and completely fall apart in his mother’s arms as his father takes the letter from his hand and gasps as his eyes quickly read the contents of the letter. This day would forever be burned in Narcissa’s memory not only because of her son’s pain but also because she saw her proud husband fall to his knees and cry as he took in the realization that he had managed to destroy his son’s heart.  
It takes a while for both men to calm down, but Draco is the first one to break the silence.  
“Mom…Can you…Can you come with me to the cemetery? I want to tell Harry to wait for me because I want to marry him the next time I see him…”  
It takes all of her strength not to burst out crying. Instead she nods her head and wipes the tears and snot from her son’s face. “Of course, baby boy. Your father and I owe both you and Harry an apology…” Lucius is quiet. Silence is the only thing he has left now.  
Draco nods his head and the family of three sits up and moves in unison towards the floo. As they are one by one engulfed by green flames, big round eyes read the letter and once again another pair of eyes starts to cry as they fall over the last sentence, written in a different colored ink and interrupted here and there by the running ink caused by uncontrollable tears.  
Hours later when the family returns, they find a distraught little house elf muttering “Oh, my Master Harry. My poor dead Master Harry”, every once in a while as she prepares dinner.

 

“P.S. I couldn’t make you love me…”


End file.
